Oh my gosh - has it seriously been that long since I posted last?  Well, most of you already know our big news!  

I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY!!!

I am just about 20 weeks pregnant - HALF WAY!!!  And so far, it is a little girl!  We have our next appointment on Monday so we'll get another chance to confirm!  If it is, we are thinking of naming her Angel Noel.  And then calling her "Noel".  Todd wants to use my middle name (Angela) some how, but it just doesn't have that great of a ring - so "Angel Noel" is my pick.  Todd likes it, but he hasn't made a final decision yet!  We are SOOOOO thrilled to finally be having a baby!  It's been a long journey to get here, but we are having so much fun!  I have pics to post, but my computer crashed and now none of my applications work (even when I re-install the disk) so I don't know what to do to fix it.  Maybe I'll post the one from my phone that I took...

I know, I know - I look like I'm 6 months pregnant, but I always look bigger when I'm sitting down.  Okay, here is another one I just took in my kitchen.

OHH!!!  She just kicked me!

I absolutely LOVE looking and feeling pregnant!  It's been so much fun!  Especially now that I'm long past the morning sickness stage!  I have an appetite again - I don't have to force feed myself to eat!  And I have energy so I can clean my house again!  Todd thinks it's great that I've "slowed down" to his pace - ha ha, but you all should know that it was SUPER TOUGH not being able to GO GO GO all the time like I'm used to!  

So how did it happen?  She truly was a gift from Heavenly Father!  After our miscarriage last April, Todd and I just sort of decided to let whatever happens happen.   We stopped all fertility treatment and sort of settled into the idea that I may not be able to get pregnant on my own and that we may have to take the next step (Invetro).  Everyone told me of course to "Stop thinking about it and then it will happen" YEAH RIGHT!!!  Yes, I know that's true - but how can you NOT think about it?  Well, Todd thinks having my doggie back helped a TON!!!  It totally relaxed me and helped me to be truly happy again.  I loved having a "baby" to take care of that NEEDED me and relied on me.  I could put my focus into the big ole' furry mug of his and not worry so much about having a real baby.   Soon, I got to the point where I could truly give my cares to Heavenly Father - trusting that He knew what was right for us and when the right time was for us.  I let it go and I gave it to Him.  I let Him be in control.  I knew he had the power and so instead of "begging" him to let us have a baby - I just asked for patience in waiting for the time He thought was right for us.  When October rolled around, I was at peace.  For the first time, I could hold a little baby and not cry.  And I felt that our time was near.  

The weekend of Halloween, I knew I was pregnant.  Not because I had proof - but because I felt compelled to pray for "me and the baby" that night in my prayers.  I kept thinking that I would take a test on Wednesday if "George" hadn't shown up.  Well, on Monday at lunch, I was flipping through my calandar and realized that I had miscalculated "George Time" and I actually had MISSED my period already!  Ohhh...the agony of waiting and wondering!  I had to go back to work.  So I drank a full cup of water and waited.  I wanted it to be nice and concentrated by the time I took the test so that it would really show if I was pregnant!  MISTAKE!!!  I had to go to the bathroom sooooo bad by the time work ended, I thought I was going to die!  But I STILL had to buy a pregnancy test - so I ran into Smith's and drove home as fast as I could.  Todd was in the back yard.  I didn't want to get his hopes up, so I dashed into the bathroom without saying anything.   

pause...pause...pause.   It seemed like it took a million years.  It was a digital test that just kept blinking while it gathered the results.  Just as I was about to give up (thinking it was a dud) the screen popped up and said "PREGNANT" I just about stopped breathing all together!  So I ran out to Todd and started singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and then I rubbed my belly when I said "How I Wonder What You Are"...

It took a second for it to register what I was telling him, but then he figured it out.  Neither of us could believe it had actually happened!  He was so excited, but cautious!  Neither of us wanted to go through the emotions of another miscarriage - so we celebrated and hoped...and prayed.  As for me, I spent the night crying my eyes out - mostly in fear - pleading to let us keep the baby this time.  Todd gave me a blessing and I knew it would all be okay!!!